Saturday, January 10, 2015

Embracing Life

     When it rains, I feel somber. Melancholy. Pensive. And I love it. Sometimes, I wish it would rain for weeks on end. It's the perfect time to be still and reflect. To sit cozy with a book and a mug of coffee. To paint a picture....

     I've found myself the last two days writing. The thoughts just flow into my head and I record them without rhyme or reason. I'm not sure what the cause of this is, perhaps Holy inspiration, but I'm loving the freedom of expression. 

     I've been sitting down and letting the words flow from my pen onto the paper without really even knowing what I'm saying. No deep thoughts. No profound ideas. Just writing. Releasing emotions and thoughts that were hiding for no reason other than being afraid of my own judgement towards myself. Towards my words, my thoughts, my art.... The words seem disconnected; but it feels like another person has written these streams of sentences. I like it that way.

     I am praying to adapt this mindset always, starting in 2015 and beyond. My words are no less great than Charles Dickens or Jane Austen. My ideas and thoughts are no less profound than Albert Einstein. At least in Jesus' and my eyes. 

     I am the unique individual. From here on out, I will stop trying to please the crowd. I will begin to focus on me and the impact I might have on those around me. I won't be judgmental of my words and ideas because they are mine. They were given to me by Someone who knows my heart, my mind, my life. They should be used to inspire others and not meant for my own selfish want of the perfect sentence, the perfect journal entry. Does anyone else have this obsession with the "perfect journal"? 

     I have many empty journals. Yet I keep acquiring more. Why? Because I want to fill these pages with life, with passion, with love. I want the words to drip from the pages as someone reads my story and cries. I want my words to inspire laughter. Yet here sit these empty books. Many times have I begun to write my "story" only to rip out the pages when the thoughts don't flow, and the words become jumbled, and the story isn't perfect. Selfish. Absurd. Wrong. 
     I look at old photographs of people in days gone by, and I want to know them. I want to hear their story, I want to know their thoughts. But who will want to know my story? Who will wonder what I thought on a rainy day in 2015? 

     No story is more worth telling than my own. And that is a truth I have only recently accepted. The words of the world, their lies, have led me to believe that because I'm not a world traveler, wealthy, or a genius, that my story isn't worth people's notice. Not true. Each story, each of our stories, your story is special. Don't be afraid to tell it. There's no greater time than now, for there may not be a tomorrow.

     I strongly encourage you to embrace yourself this year, this great 2015 that is just begun. Move past the lies in your head, the lies that are fed to you. Become who you are destined to be. It's not somewhere down the road, it's not something you missed out on, it's now. Now. "The enemy lies to you heart to bring you down, but God is for you."

     He is for who you are right now. Be that light, be that love, be that story that you are destined to be. Explore your mind, your words, your actions. Trial and error is life, and the imperfection is what makes it perfect. 

     My theme for this year: I will judge myself no more. 

Empowering. Freeing. Peace inspiring.

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