Update: Colorado Living

     Oh my, I have been a slacker these days when it comes to blogging. Here's an update of what's been going on here in Colorado, and hopefully I'll have some pictures of town and life to share with you all soon. I've been feeling slightly...unmotivated, and trying hard not to let that feeling take over.

     Life has been falling back in to a normal routine. I'm still slowing bringing things home from storage and trying to make our place cozy. 

     I've been on the job hunt for a while now and haven't had too much luck. I keep waiting for feelings and I'm not getting them. For those of you who don't know me well, I'm a very feelings person. I get these gut feelings sometimes that I just have to go along with. Such as my previous job. I vowed I would never work in childcare, and as soon as I saw that job listed in the newspaper, and I knew instantly I was meant to apply and that I would get the job. I haven't had that feeling yet. Well...not completely. I have a few conflicted feelings about a couple places, so prayer for clarity would be greatly appreciated. I have a follow up interview at Sports Authority today, which I had a good feeling about yesterday, and today have an odd conflicted feeling about. 

     This past weekend I went to Lunafest with my mother-in-law. For those of you who don't know what Lunafest is (like me before researching it) you can find out all about it here and perhaps attend one in a town near you! It was a fun night with dinner beforehand, and then the film festival at the historic Hotel Colorado.

     Yesterday I helped a dear friend substitute (she substituted, I mostly observed for future reference) at a local private school that we both have a soft spot for. She graduated from the school as well as taught there, and I spent much of my childhood with people who attended the school, went on field trips with them, and took a few classes there as well.

     I've been trying to branch out more and surround myself with people. I've spent a lot of time with good friends, been hanging out at the local coffee shop, gone to Trivia Night at the local burger place where my husband works, spent time with his friends, went to a worship concert in Basalt, assisted substituting, attended a women's film festival. I'm trying to say yes to things I might otherwise have said no to. I feel like since I was in California, that I am more outgoing and want to be around people more. 

     I'm trying to get back in to the swing of things as far as eating healthy and working out. Which hasn't been too successful so far, but I'm going to try and really start this journey in the next week or so. Prayers!

     I've spent a lot of time walking around lately, and taking in the beauty that is a small mountain town. I'm learning to be content where I am and find splendor in the small things. Snow gently kissing the tops of the mountains, tiny flowers popping up along the sidewalks, the familiar feel of my favorite coffee shop, running in to friends unexpectedly. 

    I may not know exactly what I'm going yet, but I know I'll figure out. Life doesn't stand still, and I don't want to either. So for now, I'll continue to love where I'm at, and be grateful for every second. I will try and blog more and keep you updated. 

There are some discounted prices at the shop! Please take a look and maybe something will say "buy me!", hehe.

Check out my Etsy shop here!

  

Embracing Life

     When it rains, I feel somber. Melancholy. Pensive. And I love it. Sometimes, I wish it would rain for weeks on end. It's the perfect time to be still and reflect. To sit cozy with a book and a mug of coffee. To paint a picture....

     I've found myself the last two days writing. The thoughts just flow into my head and I record them without rhyme or reason. I'm not sure what the cause of this is, perhaps Holy inspiration, but I'm loving the freedom of expression. 

     I've been sitting down and letting the words flow from my pen onto the paper without really even knowing what I'm saying. No deep thoughts. No profound ideas. Just writing. Releasing emotions and thoughts that were hiding for no reason other than being afraid of my own judgement towards myself. Towards my words, my thoughts, my art.... The words seem disconnected; but it feels like another person has written these streams of sentences. I like it that way.

     I am praying to adapt this mindset always, starting in 2015 and beyond. My words are no less great than Charles Dickens or Jane Austen. My ideas and thoughts are no less profound than Albert Einstein. At least in Jesus' and my eyes. 

     I am the unique individual. From here on out, I will stop trying to please the crowd. I will begin to focus on me and the impact I might have on those around me. I won't be judgmental of my words and ideas because they are mine. They were given to me by Someone who knows my heart, my mind, my life. They should be used to inspire others and not meant for my own selfish want of the perfect sentence, the perfect journal entry. Does anyone else have this obsession with the "perfect journal"? 

     I have many empty journals. Yet I keep acquiring more. Why? Because I want to fill these pages with life, with passion, with love. I want the words to drip from the pages as someone reads my story and cries. I want my words to inspire laughter. Yet here sit these empty books. Many times have I begun to write my "story" only to rip out the pages when the thoughts don't flow, and the words become jumbled, and the story isn't perfect. Selfish. Absurd. Wrong. 
     
     I look at old photographs of people in days gone by, and I want to know them. I want to hear their story, I want to know their thoughts. But who will want to know my story? Who will wonder what I thought on a rainy day in 2015? 

     No story is more worth telling than my own. And that is a truth I have only recently accepted. The words of the world, their lies, have led me to believe that because I'm not a world traveler, wealthy, or a genius, that my story isn't worth people's notice. Not true. Each story, each of our stories, your story is special. Don't be afraid to tell it. There's no greater time than now, for there may not be a tomorrow.

     I strongly encourage you to embrace yourself this year, this great 2015 that is just begun. Move past the lies in your head, the lies that are fed to you. Become who you are destined to be. It's not somewhere down the road, it's not something you missed out on, it's now. Now. "The enemy lies to you heart to bring you down, but God is for you."

     He is for who you are right now. Be that light, be that love, be that story that you are destined to be. Explore your mind, your words, your actions. Trial and error is life, and the imperfection is what makes it perfect. 

     
     My theme for this year: I will judge myself no more. 

Empowering. Freeing. Peace inspiring.

Scarf Happy

     So, I've been knitting up a storm over here and I wanted to share some of what's been going on. All of the scarves are listed on my Etsy Shop.

Warning: Excessive Knitting May Cause Brain Failure

Some great new colors!

 

Ribbed Scarf. Available in all the colors shown below!

Plain Scarf

A beautiful silver, gray. This scarf is so silky soft. It's to die for!

I will be making a black one for myself in the near future.

A beautiful soft, cream color. It goes with anything. Instant classic!

The newest color, just finished! Natural Brown.

Things got a little crazy over here....

They sure are soft and warm!

Happy knitting everyone!

Food For The Soul

     I have had a lot of free time in the past few months. When I decided to move to California for a few months, I thought I would be able to land a job to fill my time, and that has not been the case. At this point, I've kind of given up on the job search and have chosen to use this time to start my shop, my blog, create, volunteer some time, spend time with family, and read. 

     Here's a look at what I've been reading and will be reading this month. 

     I read The Help again for the second time a couple weeks ago. I loved it more the second time around, and highly recommend it! I think I gained more insight in to what it was like to live during that time, and it sparked some questions to ask my Grandma about her memories of being young during that time. She told me that where she grew up, there were no segregation issues, but she recalls going in to town and other places and being told they had to use a separate drinking fountain and bathroom. 
     A Little Princess was a treasured movie from my childhood. Seriously, it's so cute and sad. Check it out, but be prepared to cry. My Grandma was donating the book to the second hand store, so I snatched it up to read. It's a children's book, so I will excuse the poor writing, but the movie was so much better and that is rarely the case!
     I have one chapter left in Growing Up Amish. This one I also picked up at Grandma's house. It was covered in dust on her bookshelf and thought it could be an interesting read. I have learned some things I didn't know about the Amish community, but overall it wasn't my favorite book. It's a memoir about Ira Wagler and his struggle between being Amish and longing for an "American" life. I kept expecting something exciting to happen, and was sadly disappointed. But the knowledge aspect made it worth the read.

     Next on the list is one of my all time favorite books. I have probably read it 4-5 times. I usually switch back and forth between Pride and Prejudice and Emma every year. Jane Austen is one of my favorite authors. And every year, right before Christmas, I get the urge to pick up one of her books and immerse myself in her beautiful stories. This year is no different.

     This is a fun little addition to any readers collection, The Book Lover's Journal.

  

     Inside, you'll find a section to journal about your latest read; who the author is, how many pages, rating, and space to write your personal opinions about the book. In the back, there is a section to list books you'd like to read, who recommended it to you, genre, etc. There's also a section to list where you got your book from, books you've borrowed, books you've loaned, and even a section with their recommended list of books. I love this little treasure, because sometimes I forget what I've read or what a book was about, and it's nice to have a place to go back to.

     What are you reading this winter? I hope you're staying warm and cozy!

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

     This is the first time in 4 years that my husband and I have been apart for Christmas. I'm not sure that the reality of that has even hit me yet.

A little back story:

     Rewind to 2010. Our meeting was not exactly...normal. I sat down at the computer and signed in to Facebook like I did every afternoon. I noticed I had a friend request and clicked to find a scraggly kid a little older than myself. I had no idea who he was. I had never seen him or heard his name that I could recall. We had no "mutual friends". At this point in my life, I had decided that mass amounts of strangers as "friends" was silly, so I never added people I didn't know. I hovered over the "delete request" button. But...something kept pulling at my heart.

The first family outing with both our families. We spent the day in Aspen, went to Maroon Bells and drove over Independence Pass.

     Being the true stalker that I am, I looked through his pictures; a tall, skinny, metal-head, skateboarding kid with crazy hair. Let's just say not my usual type. Those eyes though... and I proceeded to thoroughly stalk him on Facebook and Myspace (back when Myspace was still a tiny smidge cool). 

     After all that, I still wasn't sure what I should do. I had my fair share of obnoxious guys sending me requests in the cyber world and I thought that this might end the same way. But...something kept pulling at my heart.

The Getty Center in Los Angeles.

I clicked accept. And here is where it all started. I sent him a message saying hello and asking him if I had met him before, and he had no idea who I was, and didn't remember sending me a request even.

     I came to find out that he was searching for a different Tessa, but because I lived close, my profile came up and he thought "Well she's pretty cute." From that moment we hit it off, and talked online non-stop. Pretty soon we had exchanged numbers and began texting all day, everyday. At the time, I had a pay-as-you-go phone, and Girls, if a boy offers to buy you minutes so he can keep talking to you, you know he's a good one!

     My attraction for this stranger grew, and I knew he thought I was pretty at least. We agreed to meet in person for the first time at a frisbee game some friends at my church held every Sunday in the summer. And this crazy looking, metal-head agreed to meet me, surrounded by 20+ people I've grown up with and been going to church with. I should have known then that I had him hooked! He pulled up in his little green Mitsubishi and he and his brother and friend climbed out of the car. Now, I am not the most talkative person around strangers in the first place, so when I'm suddenly confronted with three strangers, it can be slightly overwhelming. I went over and met them all, and then walked away with one of my friends and told them I'd be back. Yeah, smooth move.

     I came back and sat in the grass with them, near him, and he didn't seem to have much to say. I felt awkward, and I felt like he was uninterested. I spent most of the time talking to his brother who is much more outgoing. Years later he admitted to me that he was so angry and ready to leave because I seemed interested in his brother instead!

He'll hate this picture, but I love it. At Newport Beach.

     We met a few more times after that, and he gave me many mix CD's. Classic "I Have a Crush on You" move. I played them for one of my friends, and every song that came on she would say, "Well, clearly he likes you!". But I still had my doubts. I couldn't believe that two people could fall for each other that quickly, and that hard. It was literally just a couple of weeks. I had been in relationships before where emotions got the best of me and things didn't end the way I wanted, and I didn't want that happening again with this one. 

     He came to my house to meet my mom, and of course, thought that she hated him. Which was far from the truth. The next day, I left for California. We talked every day, every chance we could get, and it was the first time I wanted to hurry up and get back home to Colorado. 

    While I was in gone, he asked me what I would say if he asked me out on a date when I got home (never been too secretive, this one). I told him he should probably ask and find out.

     On July 30th, 2010 we had our first date and our first kiss. And from that moment on, I knew I was going to marry this man. Six days later we told each other we loved each other (so much for keeping emotions in check, huh?). I knew that a proposal was in the near future. We had talked about it many times; our hopes, dreams, where we saw us as a couple. And on October 15th, 2010 he proposed to me in Aspen, Colorado and of course, I said yes. 

     We were married on October 27th, 2011 in Aspen at a beautiful nature center. It snowed the morning of our wedding so we had to move the ceremony inside, but it was small, it was cozy, and we were married. The years have been a whirlwind. We've had ups and downs, but I know that we can get through anything together. Imagine how different my life would have been if I had just clicked delete! It just goes to show that yes, love at first sight is true, and yes, some things are destined to be. Miracles do happen.

He  cleaned up a lot for me. These photos by the wonderfully talented Krystine Lewis. In Aspen, Colorado.

     So, even though I know this is just a bump in the road, Christmas without you will be hard this year. All I want for Christmas is you, Baby. I love you! 

At a Great Gatsby party in Boulder, Colorado.

In Aspen, Colorado October 2013. He reverted to his "old" look again, but is a little more clean cut these days. But I love this picture.

Happy Winter Solstice!

     I hope everyone is well on this, the first day of Winter! The first day of any season always feel so special and exciting to me. They seem to represent three months of endless possibilities. I know that I have to make this time count because it will be another year before I get to bask in the glow of Winter. 

     Today, I am making snowflakes since I am currently residing in Southern California, and the most snow I have seen is waaaay off in the distance, on the tippy tops of the mountains. A fitting way to celebrate the first day of Winter. Hopefully I can make a trip to those mountains in the near future to take in the snow. 

     Here's what I've been working on today.

    A little snow in my snowless yard. Make today count and revel in the beauty around you!