Reflecting and Gettin' Real.

     As my time in California is drawing to an end, I've been reflecting on the time I've spent here. I will fully admit, this adventure did not turn out the way I had envisioned 3 months ago....

     When the plan to move to California first sprouted, I saw it as an opportunity to do all that I've dreamed of doing. Spend every weekend at the beach, find local and cozy coffee shops, discover off-the-beaten-path bookstores, meet new and interesting people, wander around L.A., find some random restaurant that ends up having the most fabulous food. You know...the stereotypical SoCal experience that's always portrayed in the movies. But, like most things that happen in movies, LIFE tends to take a different course.

     But, I've spent these past few months living with my mom and siblings; an experience I haven't had in 3 years, and a time that I can't replace. I could say I've met new people, as my youngest siblings (age 7 and 11 today) were so young when I lived at home, and I've only just now had the opportunity to see who they are becoming.

     I've become closer with my 17 year old sister. A new best friend. Which is going to make leaving that much harder. I've had someone to talk to, someone to complain to, someone to adventure with, someone to be silly with. This is time I won't ever get back as I leave them here to pursue their new life, and I head home to pursue mine.

     I've been able to live with my Grandma again (after about 20 years!) and that is something I will treasure forever. We've had lunch dates, gone to the gym together, and spent time talking about life and my Grandpa.

A song my Grandpa would play and sing for my Grandma. It always made her cry.

   I may not have had the ideal experience I was hoping for, but we did discover an adorable Japanese General Store, visited an Asian Market, tried new coffee shops, and even made an evening trip to the beach on New Year's Eve.



     If I had been galavanting around constantly, I wouldn't have taken the time to get to know myself. I wouldn't have taken the time to pursue what I love, to write, to paint, to create, to play music....

      I would have been too "busy" to want to focus on a new study my mom, sister, and even a good friend have been doing an online. The women leading the group have inspired me even more to not believe the lies that the world can throw at me about what I love to do. Maybe I'm not the greatest writer or painter, and I'm not rich from selling the jewelry and other things I make, but it brings me joy, and if it makes me happy, surely it can bring inspiration to others. 

You can read about my "Becoming" stories here and here!

     I've learned to embrace me and who God has designed me to be. If you would like to join in the 8 week, totally free study, visit this link. The study has been empowering for me, and I think it will be for you as well.

    
     These past 3 months have given me experiences that I can't recreate from the movies. This has been real life; time that can't be replaced. Life can change so suddenly, you have to hold on to these precious moments.

     As life slowly begins to become "normal" again, I pray that I won't lose sight of everything I've learned about myself. I don't want to lose momentum with my Etsy pursuits. I want to be able to continue painting and writing. It's going to be a huge adjustment as I head back home to the snow, move in to an apartment I've never seen, find a new job, and rediscover my relationship with my best friend, my love....

     My husband will be getting here today with his best friend and my brother-in-law. In a weeks time, I will be loading all my belongings in to the back of our Subaru, and making the 12 hour drive home with these three. It's going to be a bittersweet moment. 
     I know while they're here, we'll be able to create some of the memories I've been longing to make while I've been on my "adventure". I will be photographing every day and sharing them as I find time. Here's to squeezing 3 months time in to one week of adventuring!

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

     This is the first time in 4 years that my husband and I have been apart for Christmas. I'm not sure that the reality of that has even hit me yet.

A little back story:

     Rewind to 2010. Our meeting was not exactly...normal. I sat down at the computer and signed in to Facebook like I did every afternoon. I noticed I had a friend request and clicked to find a scraggly kid a little older than myself. I had no idea who he was. I had never seen him or heard his name that I could recall. We had no "mutual friends". At this point in my life, I had decided that mass amounts of strangers as "friends" was silly, so I never added people I didn't know. I hovered over the "delete request" button. But...something kept pulling at my heart.

The first family outing with both our families. We spent the day in Aspen, went to Maroon Bells and drove over Independence Pass.

     Being the true stalker that I am, I looked through his pictures; a tall, skinny, metal-head, skateboarding kid with crazy hair. Let's just say not my usual type. Those eyes though... and I proceeded to thoroughly stalk him on Facebook and Myspace (back when Myspace was still a tiny smidge cool). 

     After all that, I still wasn't sure what I should do. I had my fair share of obnoxious guys sending me requests in the cyber world and I thought that this might end the same way. But...something kept pulling at my heart.

The Getty Center in Los Angeles.

I clicked accept. And here is where it all started. I sent him a message saying hello and asking him if I had met him before, and he had no idea who I was, and didn't remember sending me a request even.

     I came to find out that he was searching for a different Tessa, but because I lived close, my profile came up and he thought "Well she's pretty cute." From that moment we hit it off, and talked online non-stop. Pretty soon we had exchanged numbers and began texting all day, everyday. At the time, I had a pay-as-you-go phone, and Girls, if a boy offers to buy you minutes so he can keep talking to you, you know he's a good one!

     My attraction for this stranger grew, and I knew he thought I was pretty at least. We agreed to meet in person for the first time at a frisbee game some friends at my church held every Sunday in the summer. And this crazy looking, metal-head agreed to meet me, surrounded by 20+ people I've grown up with and been going to church with. I should have known then that I had him hooked! He pulled up in his little green Mitsubishi and he and his brother and friend climbed out of the car. Now, I am not the most talkative person around strangers in the first place, so when I'm suddenly confronted with three strangers, it can be slightly overwhelming. I went over and met them all, and then walked away with one of my friends and told them I'd be back. Yeah, smooth move.

     I came back and sat in the grass with them, near him, and he didn't seem to have much to say. I felt awkward, and I felt like he was uninterested. I spent most of the time talking to his brother who is much more outgoing. Years later he admitted to me that he was so angry and ready to leave because I seemed interested in his brother instead!

He'll hate this picture, but I love it. At Newport Beach.

     We met a few more times after that, and he gave me many mix CD's. Classic "I Have a Crush on You" move. I played them for one of my friends, and every song that came on she would say, "Well, clearly he likes you!". But I still had my doubts. I couldn't believe that two people could fall for each other that quickly, and that hard. It was literally just a couple of weeks. I had been in relationships before where emotions got the best of me and things didn't end the way I wanted, and I didn't want that happening again with this one. 

     He came to my house to meet my mom, and of course, thought that she hated him. Which was far from the truth. The next day, I left for California. We talked every day, every chance we could get, and it was the first time I wanted to hurry up and get back home to Colorado. 

    While I was in gone, he asked me what I would say if he asked me out on a date when I got home (never been too secretive, this one). I told him he should probably ask and find out.

     On July 30th, 2010 we had our first date and our first kiss. And from that moment on, I knew I was going to marry this man. Six days later we told each other we loved each other (so much for keeping emotions in check, huh?). I knew that a proposal was in the near future. We had talked about it many times; our hopes, dreams, where we saw us as a couple. And on October 15th, 2010 he proposed to me in Aspen, Colorado and of course, I said yes. 

     We were married on October 27th, 2011 in Aspen at a beautiful nature center. It snowed the morning of our wedding so we had to move the ceremony inside, but it was small, it was cozy, and we were married. The years have been a whirlwind. We've had ups and downs, but I know that we can get through anything together. Imagine how different my life would have been if I had just clicked delete! It just goes to show that yes, love at first sight is true, and yes, some things are destined to be. Miracles do happen.

He  cleaned up a lot for me. These photos by the wonderfully talented Krystine Lewis. In Aspen, Colorado.

     So, even though I know this is just a bump in the road, Christmas without you will be hard this year. All I want for Christmas is you, Baby. I love you! 

At a Great Gatsby party in Boulder, Colorado.

In Aspen, Colorado October 2013. He reverted to his "old" look again, but is a little more clean cut these days. But I love this picture.