Update: Colorado Living

     Oh my, I have been a slacker these days when it comes to blogging. Here's an update of what's been going on here in Colorado, and hopefully I'll have some pictures of town and life to share with you all soon. I've been feeling slightly...unmotivated, and trying hard not to let that feeling take over.

     Life has been falling back in to a normal routine. I'm still slowing bringing things home from storage and trying to make our place cozy. 

     I've been on the job hunt for a while now and haven't had too much luck. I keep waiting for feelings and I'm not getting them. For those of you who don't know me well, I'm a very feelings person. I get these gut feelings sometimes that I just have to go along with. Such as my previous job. I vowed I would never work in childcare, and as soon as I saw that job listed in the newspaper, and I knew instantly I was meant to apply and that I would get the job. I haven't had that feeling yet. Well...not completely. I have a few conflicted feelings about a couple places, so prayer for clarity would be greatly appreciated. I have a follow up interview at Sports Authority today, which I had a good feeling about yesterday, and today have an odd conflicted feeling about. 

     This past weekend I went to Lunafest with my mother-in-law. For those of you who don't know what Lunafest is (like me before researching it) you can find out all about it here and perhaps attend one in a town near you! It was a fun night with dinner beforehand, and then the film festival at the historic Hotel Colorado.

     Yesterday I helped a dear friend substitute (she substituted, I mostly observed for future reference) at a local private school that we both have a soft spot for. She graduated from the school as well as taught there, and I spent much of my childhood with people who attended the school, went on field trips with them, and took a few classes there as well.

     I've been trying to branch out more and surround myself with people. I've spent a lot of time with good friends, been hanging out at the local coffee shop, gone to Trivia Night at the local burger place where my husband works, spent time with his friends, went to a worship concert in Basalt, assisted substituting, attended a women's film festival. I'm trying to say yes to things I might otherwise have said no to. I feel like since I was in California, that I am more outgoing and want to be around people more. 

     I'm trying to get back in to the swing of things as far as eating healthy and working out. Which hasn't been too successful so far, but I'm going to try and really start this journey in the next week or so. Prayers!

     I've spent a lot of time walking around lately, and taking in the beauty that is a small mountain town. I'm learning to be content where I am and find splendor in the small things. Snow gently kissing the tops of the mountains, tiny flowers popping up along the sidewalks, the familiar feel of my favorite coffee shop, running in to friends unexpectedly. 

    I may not know exactly what I'm going yet, but I know I'll figure out. Life doesn't stand still, and I don't want to either. So for now, I'll continue to love where I'm at, and be grateful for every second. I will try and blog more and keep you updated. 

There are some discounted prices at the shop! Please take a look and maybe something will say "buy me!", hehe.

Check out my Etsy shop here!

  

The Project

     Here I am, sitting in my new apartment. Home. It’s starting to feel like home anyway. I like to call it, "The Project". It’s been a fitting name so far. I’ve always been drawn to more rundown, in need of some TLC homes.

     
    My husband and I began searching for a new home while I was still in California. After searching Craigslist, we found one to look at, and I kind of fell in love, despite how dingy it looked. Before I knew it, it was ours. It’s a strange feeling to be so far away, and to know that you’re going to go “home” to something so new and unfamiliar….
 

     The apartment is right down town in Glenwood. The ideal location for most people apartment searching here. It’s in an old Victorian style home, separated in to four apartments, and another one out back. A situation I’ve always wanted to live in. Weird, I know.

    
      After my husband starting moving in, he sent me pictures to show me “just how bad it was”. And yes, it’s odd, it’s dirty, it’s small, it’s old. But, I kind of love it.
 

   
      Thankfully, I was able to spend a lot of time on the internet looking up cheap ways to update, create storage, and make a small space livable. I began to visualize what our new place could look like, despite the previous sad attempts at updating, the slanting floors, and old carpet.
 

      I immediately clung to the things that appealed to me most; the old brick chimney that is slightly exposed, the original windows, the pedestal sink in the bathroom, the white walls…these are my inspiration for creating home.
 

     I’ve had this weird thing for a long time about wanting to live in a more rundown place. Not necessarily a fixer-upper situation, but a place that’s livable-rundown...

     I think this desire comes from movies, you know, where the young woman gets her apartment in the city with exposed brick walls, old windows, charm. She finds herself in her home. I don’t know…maybe it’s not a movie. Maybe I’m just odd, haha. Either way, I seemed to have idealized that sort of life, and I feel like I’m finally able to get a taste of that in my small, mountain town. 

     I know this place doesn’t and won’t appeal to the majority of people. Here in America, the newer, the bigger, the better. But for me, I am perfectly content in my shabby palace, with the one I love.

     It's beginning to feel cozy and homey. A place to be comfortable; to come back to and call home.


    

Reflecting and Gettin' Real.

     As my time in California is drawing to an end, I've been reflecting on the time I've spent here. I will fully admit, this adventure did not turn out the way I had envisioned 3 months ago....

     When the plan to move to California first sprouted, I saw it as an opportunity to do all that I've dreamed of doing. Spend every weekend at the beach, find local and cozy coffee shops, discover off-the-beaten-path bookstores, meet new and interesting people, wander around L.A., find some random restaurant that ends up having the most fabulous food. You know...the stereotypical SoCal experience that's always portrayed in the movies. But, like most things that happen in movies, LIFE tends to take a different course.

     But, I've spent these past few months living with my mom and siblings; an experience I haven't had in 3 years, and a time that I can't replace. I could say I've met new people, as my youngest siblings (age 7 and 11 today) were so young when I lived at home, and I've only just now had the opportunity to see who they are becoming.

     I've become closer with my 17 year old sister. A new best friend. Which is going to make leaving that much harder. I've had someone to talk to, someone to complain to, someone to adventure with, someone to be silly with. This is time I won't ever get back as I leave them here to pursue their new life, and I head home to pursue mine.

     I've been able to live with my Grandma again (after about 20 years!) and that is something I will treasure forever. We've had lunch dates, gone to the gym together, and spent time talking about life and my Grandpa.

A song my Grandpa would play and sing for my Grandma. It always made her cry.

   I may not have had the ideal experience I was hoping for, but we did discover an adorable Japanese General Store, visited an Asian Market, tried new coffee shops, and even made an evening trip to the beach on New Year's Eve.



     If I had been galavanting around constantly, I wouldn't have taken the time to get to know myself. I wouldn't have taken the time to pursue what I love, to write, to paint, to create, to play music....

      I would have been too "busy" to want to focus on a new study my mom, sister, and even a good friend have been doing an online. The women leading the group have inspired me even more to not believe the lies that the world can throw at me about what I love to do. Maybe I'm not the greatest writer or painter, and I'm not rich from selling the jewelry and other things I make, but it brings me joy, and if it makes me happy, surely it can bring inspiration to others. 

You can read about my "Becoming" stories here and here!

     I've learned to embrace me and who God has designed me to be. If you would like to join in the 8 week, totally free study, visit this link. The study has been empowering for me, and I think it will be for you as well.

    
     These past 3 months have given me experiences that I can't recreate from the movies. This has been real life; time that can't be replaced. Life can change so suddenly, you have to hold on to these precious moments.

     As life slowly begins to become "normal" again, I pray that I won't lose sight of everything I've learned about myself. I don't want to lose momentum with my Etsy pursuits. I want to be able to continue painting and writing. It's going to be a huge adjustment as I head back home to the snow, move in to an apartment I've never seen, find a new job, and rediscover my relationship with my best friend, my love....

     My husband will be getting here today with his best friend and my brother-in-law. In a weeks time, I will be loading all my belongings in to the back of our Subaru, and making the 12 hour drive home with these three. It's going to be a bittersweet moment. 
     I know while they're here, we'll be able to create some of the memories I've been longing to make while I've been on my "adventure". I will be photographing every day and sharing them as I find time. Here's to squeezing 3 months time in to one week of adventuring!

Embracing Life

     When it rains, I feel somber. Melancholy. Pensive. And I love it. Sometimes, I wish it would rain for weeks on end. It's the perfect time to be still and reflect. To sit cozy with a book and a mug of coffee. To paint a picture....

     I've found myself the last two days writing. The thoughts just flow into my head and I record them without rhyme or reason. I'm not sure what the cause of this is, perhaps Holy inspiration, but I'm loving the freedom of expression. 

     I've been sitting down and letting the words flow from my pen onto the paper without really even knowing what I'm saying. No deep thoughts. No profound ideas. Just writing. Releasing emotions and thoughts that were hiding for no reason other than being afraid of my own judgement towards myself. Towards my words, my thoughts, my art.... The words seem disconnected; but it feels like another person has written these streams of sentences. I like it that way.

     I am praying to adapt this mindset always, starting in 2015 and beyond. My words are no less great than Charles Dickens or Jane Austen. My ideas and thoughts are no less profound than Albert Einstein. At least in Jesus' and my eyes. 

     I am the unique individual. From here on out, I will stop trying to please the crowd. I will begin to focus on me and the impact I might have on those around me. I won't be judgmental of my words and ideas because they are mine. They were given to me by Someone who knows my heart, my mind, my life. They should be used to inspire others and not meant for my own selfish want of the perfect sentence, the perfect journal entry. Does anyone else have this obsession with the "perfect journal"? 

     I have many empty journals. Yet I keep acquiring more. Why? Because I want to fill these pages with life, with passion, with love. I want the words to drip from the pages as someone reads my story and cries. I want my words to inspire laughter. Yet here sit these empty books. Many times have I begun to write my "story" only to rip out the pages when the thoughts don't flow, and the words become jumbled, and the story isn't perfect. Selfish. Absurd. Wrong. 
     
     I look at old photographs of people in days gone by, and I want to know them. I want to hear their story, I want to know their thoughts. But who will want to know my story? Who will wonder what I thought on a rainy day in 2015? 

     No story is more worth telling than my own. And that is a truth I have only recently accepted. The words of the world, their lies, have led me to believe that because I'm not a world traveler, wealthy, or a genius, that my story isn't worth people's notice. Not true. Each story, each of our stories, your story is special. Don't be afraid to tell it. There's no greater time than now, for there may not be a tomorrow.

     I strongly encourage you to embrace yourself this year, this great 2015 that is just begun. Move past the lies in your head, the lies that are fed to you. Become who you are destined to be. It's not somewhere down the road, it's not something you missed out on, it's now. Now. "The enemy lies to you heart to bring you down, but God is for you."

     He is for who you are right now. Be that light, be that love, be that story that you are destined to be. Explore your mind, your words, your actions. Trial and error is life, and the imperfection is what makes it perfect. 

     
     My theme for this year: I will judge myself no more. 

Empowering. Freeing. Peace inspiring.