Reflecting and Gettin' Real.

     As my time in California is drawing to an end, I've been reflecting on the time I've spent here. I will fully admit, this adventure did not turn out the way I had envisioned 3 months ago....

     When the plan to move to California first sprouted, I saw it as an opportunity to do all that I've dreamed of doing. Spend every weekend at the beach, find local and cozy coffee shops, discover off-the-beaten-path bookstores, meet new and interesting people, wander around L.A., find some random restaurant that ends up having the most fabulous food. You know...the stereotypical SoCal experience that's always portrayed in the movies. But, like most things that happen in movies, LIFE tends to take a different course.

     But, I've spent these past few months living with my mom and siblings; an experience I haven't had in 3 years, and a time that I can't replace. I could say I've met new people, as my youngest siblings (age 7 and 11 today) were so young when I lived at home, and I've only just now had the opportunity to see who they are becoming.

     I've become closer with my 17 year old sister. A new best friend. Which is going to make leaving that much harder. I've had someone to talk to, someone to complain to, someone to adventure with, someone to be silly with. This is time I won't ever get back as I leave them here to pursue their new life, and I head home to pursue mine.

     I've been able to live with my Grandma again (after about 20 years!) and that is something I will treasure forever. We've had lunch dates, gone to the gym together, and spent time talking about life and my Grandpa.

A song my Grandpa would play and sing for my Grandma. It always made her cry.

   I may not have had the ideal experience I was hoping for, but we did discover an adorable Japanese General Store, visited an Asian Market, tried new coffee shops, and even made an evening trip to the beach on New Year's Eve.



     If I had been galavanting around constantly, I wouldn't have taken the time to get to know myself. I wouldn't have taken the time to pursue what I love, to write, to paint, to create, to play music....

      I would have been too "busy" to want to focus on a new study my mom, sister, and even a good friend have been doing an online. The women leading the group have inspired me even more to not believe the lies that the world can throw at me about what I love to do. Maybe I'm not the greatest writer or painter, and I'm not rich from selling the jewelry and other things I make, but it brings me joy, and if it makes me happy, surely it can bring inspiration to others. 

You can read about my "Becoming" stories here and here!

     I've learned to embrace me and who God has designed me to be. If you would like to join in the 8 week, totally free study, visit this link. The study has been empowering for me, and I think it will be for you as well.

    
     These past 3 months have given me experiences that I can't recreate from the movies. This has been real life; time that can't be replaced. Life can change so suddenly, you have to hold on to these precious moments.

     As life slowly begins to become "normal" again, I pray that I won't lose sight of everything I've learned about myself. I don't want to lose momentum with my Etsy pursuits. I want to be able to continue painting and writing. It's going to be a huge adjustment as I head back home to the snow, move in to an apartment I've never seen, find a new job, and rediscover my relationship with my best friend, my love....

     My husband will be getting here today with his best friend and my brother-in-law. In a weeks time, I will be loading all my belongings in to the back of our Subaru, and making the 12 hour drive home with these three. It's going to be a bittersweet moment. 
     I know while they're here, we'll be able to create some of the memories I've been longing to make while I've been on my "adventure". I will be photographing every day and sharing them as I find time. Here's to squeezing 3 months time in to one week of adventuring!

Merry Christmas: Sing Hallelujahs

     Merry Christmas my friends! I hope this day find's you happy and well. 

     Our day is starting off with coffee (the most important) and tearing in to all the colorful gifts. I was feeling more nostalgic this year, and found wrapping paper that has probably been sitting in my Grandma's house since the 1990's. So I threw pretty, sweet, handmade wrapping out the window, and decided to use what was already at the house for that touch of childhood I'm so desperately holding on to this season.

     This Christmas brings many emotions for people in all walks of life. For me and my family, this Christmas is laced with sadness. Many of you know, my Grandpa passed away in October, which makes this holiday season bittersweet. He battled cancer for many years, and thankfully we had the opportunity to come out to California last Christmas because we knew it could possibly be his last. Our Christmas was sweet and cozy, with all of us gathered around the tree and dinner at my Aunt's home with a surplus of good food. This year will be the same, but we all feel that piece of us missing.

     Grandpa was the most generous, open-hearted person you could meet. So many people loved him and speak about how kind and giving he was. Christmas and birthdays, we kids always felt so spoiled because he made sure to go above and beyond. He showed his love through giving. 

     Kind of like someone else. Jesus. We couldn't celebrate this miracle of Christmas if Jesus hadn't come to live among us. To love and to teach and give. He gave his life so that we may live. Let's just step back a minute from our Christmas hustle and bustle and really think about that for a moment. I mean really think about that. Can your mind comprehend the power of that act of love? Because honestly, it's hard for me to wrap my insignificant brain around. Me, being selfish, proud, sometimes hard-hearted...someone would want to die so I could live? It's mind-blowing and can bring you to your knees. Today, I pray, as you go about your day and prepare your meals, spend time with loved ones, listen to Christmas music, sing hallelujahs to His holy Name! In your heart, with your voice, in your soul.

"Suddenly a great company of heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.' "

- Luke 2:13-14

     Be safe as you go about celebrating today. Shower love wherever you can. I pray that if today your heart is sad or hardened, you may find peace and happiness in some small thing. Try giving time or money or even food to someone less fortunate than yourself. Sometimes even a note or a smile is enough to brighten someone's day. So as we go our separate ways today and celebrate our Christmas, I hope you can revel in the beauty of snow, the miracle of a "baby's first Christmas", maybe your flight got delayed but you still arrived at your destination safe. There are so many things to inspire awe this holiday season from our Savior's birth to the tiniest snowflake. As for me, I will sing hallelujahs and shed a few tears of sadness, as well as joy.

Merry Christmas to you all!